Rant of the Day: Politics on Social Media

To the person posting political comments on social media
Remember the good ‘ol days when people would have the quiet dignity to keep their opinions to themselves? If there was something political or divisive that pissed someone off, that person used to have the decorum to take their frustration out in the appropriate way; on their kids or spouse. There also used to be a fear of being shamed or ridiculed for posting their political views for their friends and the world at large to see. Now it is a free-for-all for partially-informed loudmouths to say whatever they want, regardless of the damage it might do to their family and friends’ relationships. Yes, we all know you hate Trump, we can tell by the 85 Facebook posts you have put up. It’s not that I agree or disagree, I just don’t care what you have to say, that’s all.
In the past, there would be a hesitation before they hit the “Post” button if it had a chance of offending people or dividing a group. Something about the past year has completely removed that instinct to think about what you are posting before you do it. The fact that these politicians are so unlikeable, has given many people the idea that they can do and say anything without repercussion. I liken this phenomenon to the advent of picture messages sent via cell phones. Young men thought it would be the perfect way to express their feelings to young women by the art of sending a well-angled photo of their genitalia with their phone. They could do so without the hassle of actually leaving the house and taking a girl to dinner. Much like the political, opinionated posts today, these guys would really think those pictures were going to sway a girl into reciprocating or changing their opinion of them. What I failed to realize….. I mean, what those random guys failed to realize is that those peepee pics will instead forever affect how that person views you. And believe me; it’s not in a positive way. Plus those same people now have those pics/posts for all of time.
“But Gio, somebody needs to speak up for this country before it goes to hell in a hand basket!”
You’re right, overly-paranoid ruiner of social media! Political views from all sides are a constructive and beneficial way to share ideas and views on many different subjects. But what you’re doing is not sharing ideas; it is accusing, blaming, isolating, falsifying and otherwise corrupting the idea of sharing opinions with intelligent folk. Instead, all you are doing is stating your point of view as fact and completely ignoring the other side and how they might view the same ideas. Much like the sociopath who thinks that rubbing his wiener on the taquitos in the heat roller at the Quik Trip is completely acceptable and normal, you are rubbing your uncircumcised opinions all over everyone’s otherwise delicious, cheese and chicken-filled social media accounts and ruining our day. The worst part is that you are completely unaware that it is utterly annoying to all who see it.
“But Gio, most people are not informed of these atrocities that the candidate has committed.”
Another great point, overly-obsessed liberal/conservative! What you fail to realize is that some people, strangely enough, base their decisions on “facts” and “hard evidence”, not what the insane-sounding person on Facebook is posting in the comments section of someone else’s retardedly biased political post. Would we take the crazy guy at the street corner who is shouting “the end is nigh” seriously? No, because he’s not using the appropriate means to convey his thoughts and I’m pretty sure he pooped himself. Like Grandma used to say, “Never believe anyone if they have feces in their trousers.”
“But Gio, how are people going to understand how much of a hero I am without them knowing I am well-informed and have great opinions?”
One; good question self-righteous anal sphincter! Two; could you please stop interrupting me, I’m trying to write a blog here. As mentioned earlier, no one on social media is there to see your dumb Michelle Obama post or your platitude about how bad Hillary is. (Platitude… Is that when a platypus gets sassy???) Just because you think your opinion is right and you are doing it to make the world better, doesn’t mean your friends and family think you’re a hero. They are actually embarrassed by your brazen, unapologetic attempt as sounding smart. You know who else thought they were doing something to make mankind better? The Branch Dividians, Timothy McVeigh, and that religion that has sex through a hole in the sheet. But in reality, they look like loonies to everyone else.
“But Gio, what ab….
NO! Stop it! Hey, look at me! Stop it!……. Hey!……. Stop it!
In conclusion, let’s all focus on making social media great again. Let’s get back to the roots of what sites like Facebook, Instagram, and Grinder were for; embarrassing videos, cyber-bullying, and hooking up with shady people. Because the next political post I see could be the straw that breaks your back when I place my foot betwixt your ass. Now get out there and vote people!


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